December 2006 we found out we were expecting... I started bleeding on Christmas Eve and by New Years Day, I thought I miscarried. I called my doctor and asked if I could come in for an ultrasound to make sure the miscarriage was over... so that is what we did. The next day, we went in... I prepared myself for seeing an empty uterus... since I've been through this before. When she put the ultrasound to my stomach, there were 2 sacks! She told us that there were 2 in there and the both looked great!
We were shocked, scared, happy... all in one! Our family of 5 kids was going to expand to 7 kids! GAH!!!! The pregnancy was quite rough since I have had all my babies 6 weeks early, due to a bicornuate uterus, my doctor from the get go was not to happy that I was pregnant with twins. He was very worried that I would miscarry them or have them way too early. He prepared me the best he could for what to expect. Around 16 weeks, I started bleeding...bad. I thought...this is it. I am having the late miscarriage that he was talking about. Turns out, there was a hemorrhage behind baby A's placenta. I was put on bed rest and told me that it would probably correct itself, since they didn't see any other bleeds on the ultrasound. We got very attached to these little guys right off the bat. They were our little miracles! To feel 2 babies move inside of me was so awesome. It was indescribable. Nick (baby A) was on my left and Kenny (baby b) was on my right. I prayed to God every night, that he would bless me with both of them making it
through this pregnancy and born healthy. I talked to my boys every day and night... I told them to stay put, that mommy wanted both of them to come home and grow old with our family! When I went in for my 21 week appt. I mentioned to my doc that I was more uncomfortable and "wet". He checked me, sent me for an ultrasound and told me that I was in the hospital for the remainder of the pregnancy. My world was falling apart. How was I to be in the hospital for months when I have 5 little ones at home? So there I stayed... basically head lower than my feet for 2 weeks. I was monitored every day. There, they told me that Kenny (baby b) was now Baby A. He was breech with his feet down by my cervix. By the end of my short hospital stay, I started to feel like I was in labor...no contractions but I've been through this 5 times and 2 miscarriages, I think I know what beginning labor feels like. I couldn't stop crying, I was crampy and I had tons of...sorry TMI...discharge. I was given medicine to help me sleep and relax, but I knew what was happening. I was in labor at 23 weeks. The night before I had the twins, the nurses in the antepartum ward knew that I was extremely upset about what was happening, so they called a doctor from the NICU to come in and talk to me about what to expect. Scared the living daylights out of me! Because I was pregnant with twin boys was a negative...girls tend to do better than boys. Singletons do better than twins. If I could keep them in a little longer, that would be good... 23 weekers only have a 17% chance of survival. All the problems, "what ifs", statistics and reality was just too much for me. I just cried and cried and prayed. I have never felt so alone in all my life. I spent that night just feeling my boys move inside of me and talking to them. Not knowing that that was the last night that they would be part of me, inside of me... I was protecting them, doing what a mommy was supposed to do. The next morning, May 2, my doctor came in and asked me how I felt. I told him that I honestly felt like I was in labor. I called my husband, Tony to please come be with me because I just wasn't feeling right. With my husband by my side, my doctor checked me... called for the portable ultrasound machine and told me me that Kenny's feet were in the birth canal and I was already dilated to 4. There was no turning back... He was going to perform a c-section right away. He kept telling me that he was sorry... when a doctor apologies, you know it's not good. I was able to call my mom and dad to tell them that the babies were coming, so they made all the other calls to my sisters (including my twin). At 10:29 Kenny was born and at 10:30, Nick. They both weighed 1 lb, 7 oz and were just under 12" long.
I was able to see Kenny, but they took Nick right away. I couldn't get over how small they were. I didn't get a chance to see them afterwards because I was in recovery. My oldest sister, husband and best friend were there. I was just kinda numb. I couldn't believe that they were out of me. I couldn't protect them anymore, I couldn't feel them move inside of me, talk to them to tell them that it would be alright. My twin sister did an amazing thing. She is living down in Alabama with her family. She didn't know what to do, so she called my church and asked for the priest to go and baptize the boys. So my priest was also in recovery with us... ready to baptize them and be there for me if I wanted to talk. My husband, sister, friend and priest all went to the NICU and baptised them. Those first 2 days after they were born, were really a blur. I had my daughter's communion that I was making her a headpiece for, while I was still in the hospital. I was getting flowers, cards and calls of congratulations... yet, I couldn't get too excited.
On May 4th, My sister-in-law and niece came to visit and to see my twins. I noticed that Nick didn't look real good, and made a comment to the nurse to keep an eye on him. We just got back to my room, when the nurse came to tell me that Nick was having some problems. I started crying. They called my husband for me and I called my parents to tell them that Nick was not doing good, and to please say prayers for him. As Tony and I sat in the NICU watching the doctors and nurses work frantically on Nick, I felt sick... physically sick. How can this be happening to us. My beautiful baby is dying and there was nothing we could do! The gave him several blood transfusions to try to stop the bleeding in his lungs. It wasn't working. They then brought the ultrasound machine in to check to see if he was bleeding in his brain....he was...grade 4....there was nothing more they could do. They worked on him for 4 hours before telling us that he wasn't going to make it. At that point, I got to hold my baby, really hold him. I didnt want to forget how he smelled, looked or felt. He was so tiny, yet so perfect. My in-laws got to the hospital in time to hold their grandson, before he passed. I wished my family could have met him. He was so beautiful. But they were all over the country. My parents live in Arizona, sisters in Alabama, Pennsylvania and so on... Anyhow, they were there with me in spirit. As I was holding Nick, I just kept telling him that he was going to be with Uncle John, my brother who passed away 20 years ago at the age of 24. I know know why he died... He died, so he can be waiting in heaven for Nick, his nephew. I have to keep telling myself that they are together or I'd really lose hope. Well, he passed away about an hour after I told them to take his vent tubes out. The nurses took tons of pictures of Nick and then of Nick and Kenny. I will always cherish those pictures and the staff of the NICU. My father in law was holding him when he died. It was the worst day of my life. I thought having a miscarriage was bad. Nope, this was, by far, the worst pain anyone could ever feel.
Kenny was in the NICU for 129 days. He had surgery to close a valve on his heart, several blood and platelet transfusions, collapsed lungs... seamed like every other week, about 3 really bad infections, in which we almost lost him. ROP in both eyes which required him to have laser surgery. A PICC line put in, but that became infected. He was on the ventilator for 3 and a half months and about that long on a feeding tube. He has severe BPD (Bronchial Pulmonary Dysplasia) which he will probably have problems with lung issues for a very, very long time.
He also failed the hearing tests in both his ears. I thank God for him every day. He could have easily died, but with the help from the hospital, the doctors, the Nurses especially and his twin guardian angel and God, He is here today! Kenny is now a growing, thriving little boy. He is still having major lung problems, hearing problems, in which he is getting hearing aids for, muscle tone problems, and developmental delays... but he is perfect in every way! He is on oxygen (at night) but that is to give his little heart and lungs a rest. Every day is a new adventure with Kenny. He has been hospitalized several times because of his lungs and getting sick... when he gets sick, you can almost bet that he is going to be in the hospital. Feeding him is another problem, because of his gag reflex from the vent tube being in for so long, he doesn't want to eat... only drink his bottle. We finally got him on stage 2 baby food, but it is still a very rough ride... trying to get him to eat that even. So that is the story of my Kenny and Nick... two perfect babies of which one came home to us, and one went home to Jesus.
